


The Book of Nico

by Startedwith1Whisper



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Crack, Crack and Angst, Cross-Post, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, M/M, Social Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Startedwith1Whisper/pseuds/Startedwith1Whisper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the musical, Kevin Price and Connor McKinley realize they love each other, leave Mormonism, go to college in Ohio, and gain a fiery female roommate who cheers them on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Book of Nico

**Author's Note:**

> Nico is heavily based on me-most of the locations listed are real places in my hometown-with some details changed. I hope she’s not too much of a Mary Sue, but if she is, I apologize. Her clothes from Macy’s were real at the time the story was originally written, like four years ago.  
> This story has not held up well over time-besides the outdated clothes, there are also some aspects of society at the time of the original writing that factor heavily into the plot but don't really apply now.  
> This story is officially on hiatus because I'm stuck on whether or not to continue it and have been for a long time. I'll update it when I know where it's going.

“Stephanie? Damnit!”  
I just realized my roommate had abandoned me at the mall-and it was about to start sleeting. Damn Ohio weather.  
“Oh well,” I figured, “nothing better to do than shop.”  
After making a pit stop at the gift shop to buy the rest of the Chipmunks and Chipettes Beanie Babies (I already had Alvin), I walked into Macy’s and started grabbing clothes off the racks at random. After trying on a few things, I put a red cowlneck top in a cart and proceeded to try on a turquoise long-sleeved t-shirt with braiding at the neckline.  
“Is there anybody out here who can help me decide whether to buy this?” I called from the dressing room.  
A male voice called back, “I was just walking by, but sure, I’ll help you!”  
I walked out to find myself under the appraising eye of a small auburn-haired young man with piercing blue-green eyes. He was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a hunter green polo shirt that showed his hair and eyes well. He seemed a bit preppier than me, but I figured he was stylish enough to be able to help me make a good decision.  
“That’s a cute top on you. Turn around,” he said.  
I spun around to meet his gaze again. “Well?”  
“That style’s great for you,” he said thoughtfully, “but I think you’d look better in some type of purple.”  
“All right, this style doesn’t come in purple, but it does come in lilac. I guess I’ll try that one on and you can see how it looks,” I said, grabbing the lilac tee and walking back into the dressing room.  
As I stripped off the turquoise tee and put the lilac on instead, my mind roamed to my impromptu fashion consultant. “He’s so cute and spontaneously nice. He can’t be single. His girlfriend’s-wait, what’s that beeping? Ah, yes, my ever-erratic gaydar has conveniently chosen today to go off. Alrighty then, let’s change that last sentence I was going for. His boyfriend’s one lucky guy.”  
The guy smiled when I came out in the lilac top. His smile was adorable, and I silently cursed every powers-that-be figure I could think of for him being gay. “There you go! That one’s much better. You look gorgeous in lilac!”  
I smiled. “Thanks. Wanna help me pick out some new shoes? Otherwise I’ll be there all day.”  
He nodded. “Sure. Do you think we could get some Chick-fil-a afterwards? I told my boyfriend to meet me in the food court when we were both done. I’m Connor, by the way. Connor McKinley.”  
I stuck out my hand. “Nikki Allen. Nice to meet you, Connor.”  
After much deliberation in the shoe department, I picked a pair of cute purple plaid sneakers and a pair of pink suede Jessica Simpson heels and we were on our way. 

Once we left the store, Connor and I got some food from the Chick-fil-a kiosk before grabbing a table at the food court. I dipped my first nugget into Polynesian sauce and then into ketchup.  
Connor raised his eyebrows. “Two sauces? Really? That seems kinda weird.”  
I smiled and ate my nugget. “Trust me. Just try it.”  
He tentatively dipped a chicken strip into the sauces in the same order I had, then took a bite and closed his eyes, relishing the flavor. “Mmm. Oh my gosh, it sounds so weird but it tastes so good!”  
I laughed. “God, Connor, you know that could be taken so completely wrong, don’t you?”  
Connor opened his eyes and fixed me with a totally evil look. “You do know I’m gay, right? Trust me, the picture you just got-I do that quite often with my boyfriend,” he purred.  
I laughed. “Oh, I have no doubt you do, you dirty boy!”  
Just as I had popped another nugget into my mouth, a tall guy came toward our table from the direction of Radio Shack. He had brown hair and eyes and a square jaw and was in the same preppy-cute mode as Connor, only this guy’s polo was navy. He seemed to light up more the closer he got to our table.  
“Oh, so this is the boyfriend,” I thought. “Cute. Jesus, can you boys ever not be cute?”  
Navy Polo came to stand behind Connor’s chair. “Hey, honey, who’s your new friend? Or did you decide you’re bi and want a girlfriend too?” He put on an exaggerated pout and the three of us laughed.  
Connor shook his head. “No, babe, are you crazy? I’m definitely not bi.”  
“I just have to make sure,” Navy Polo said before leaning down to kiss his boyfriend.  
I really wanted to keep from doing it, but I couldn’t help squealing, “Awww, you guys are like a superadorable preppy gay version of Spider-Man and Mary Jane!”  
Connor and Navy Polo laughed again, and I blushed.  
“Sorry I’m not making a very good impression. I think I’m just on a sugar high ‘cause you two are so sweet!”  
Connor smiled. “Nikki, obviously this is my boyfriend, Kevin Price. Kevin, this is my new friend Nikki Allen. She goes to Wright State like we do. She lives in Hamilton.”  
Kevin gasped. “Oh my gosh, we practically live across campus! We're in an apartment in Yellowstone, and somehow nobody else signed up to live with us.”  
“Really?” I asked. “My roommate from last year lives in Yellowstone too.”  
Kevin grinned. “Great! One-stop shopping for you. Hey, maybe you could come live with us next year.”  
I smirked. “Sounds nice, but there’s just one thing. You guys are gonna end up sexiling me, aren’t you?” They stammered all over each other, and I smirked again. “Don’t worry. I can put up with a lot of noise as long as you let me know first, and once I fall asleep, I’m pretty much out.”  
Connor nodded with a thoughtful look. “Yeah, and you could take the bedroom on the opposite end of the apartment from ours so the sound won’t travel as far. It could work.” Kevin went to Great Steak and Potato and came back with a baked potato. “So did you know Connor and I are both ex-Mormons?”  
I smiled. “Not know, but I kinda suspected it because of how preppy you are.” Then my smile became a third smirk and my voice went sarcastic. “Jeez, I don’t know what my dad’s gonna be happier about: me wanting to live with a gay couple or the fact that both of them are ex-Mormons.”  
They gave me sympathetic expressions. “I guess your dad’s pretty intolerant? Yeah, we’ve both had to deal with intolerant family,” Connor said.  
I nodded. “My dad is so conservative he tried to send me to this awful school in Michigan just because it teaches everything from a conservative lens. I couldn’t handle that, no way. I’m too much of a free spirit.”  
With that we started an intense conversation. I learned that Kevin and Connor had met on their mission in Uganda; that Kevin’s mission companion Arnold had written a heavily adapted version of the Book of Mormon that referenced _Star Wars, Lord of the Rings,_ and everyday life in Uganda, fallen in love with a local girl named Nabulungi, and eventually moved to New York (Connor’s favorite place-Kevin’s was Orlando) with her; that my two new friends had had to spend a year in a long-distance relationship because Connor was a year older than Kevin and therefore got to leave Uganda a year earlier; and that they had come to Wright State together because both of their parents had kicked them out (although Connor’s sister Rachel who lives in Pittsburgh accepted them and thought they were a cute couple). 

“OK, so I think we’ve pretty much decided that I’m moving into you guys’ apartment next year!” I squealed.  
“Yeah,” Kevin said, “so it’s only fair we ask if Nikki’s short for anything.”  
“Yeah, it’s short for Nicole.”  
Connor shook his head. “Well, if you’re gonna be our roomie, we have to give you a special nickname that’s roomies only. How do you feel about Nico? You know, like the first four letters of Nicole.”  
I smiled. “Nico. I like that. I guess I’m gonna be Nico to you guys from now on.”  
We all smiled, and as we finished up our food I said, “Hey, there’s a photo booth over by the restrooms. Why don’t we do it together as a future-roommates-bonding-activity thing?”  
The boys enthusiastically agreed, and we went in the photo booth. I was squished between Kevin and Connor as we made goofy faces. Once it finished our set, I had an idea. “You guys are such a cute couple. Would it be too much trouble for me to leave the photo booth and for you to goof around alone? I’d like a few candids of you until I move in next year and regularly overdose on your cuteness.”  
“Sure!” the guys chorused.  
I left the photo booth and picked up our future-roommates-bonding-activity strips as Connor put more money in the slot. When the photo booth spit out our three new strips, I thought my heart was going to explode from the cuteness. In the first picture the boys were sitting in what would be a “family portrait” pose, except Connor was making bunny ears behind Kevin’s head. The second showed Kevin retaliating by sticking his tongue out at Connor, who was doubled over laughing. In the third photo Kevin had his left arm around Connor’s shoulders and Connor’s right hand was at the small of Kevin’s back. They were looking at each other with huge smiles, and their knees were touching. The last photo caught Connor and Kevin in a kiss. I couldn’t detect any tongue, so I figured the kiss was medium-intensity.  
When Kevin and Connor climbed out of the photo booth, I tackled each of them in a huge hug. “Oh my God, you guys are so cute! Look at these strips. You’re so funny and goofy and romantic and-you two are just adorable!” They took both their strips and I tucked mine in Simon the chipmunk’s paws inside the gift shop bag. “So what do you want to do next?” I asked.  
They shrugged.  
“Well,” Kevin said, “last time we visited them in New York, Arnold and Nabulungi got us into _South Park._ I want to look at a few seasons before I decide which to buy first. Do you want to go to FYE and look around?”  
“Let’s go! I love FYE!” I cried.  
Connor smiled and said, “FYE it is!”

Once we got to the DVD section Connor and Kevin made a beeline for the TV on DVD and I started reading the cases of different horror movies to see if I liked any for next Halloween. While I absentmindedly read the back of the _Drag Me to Hell_ DVD, one of my shopping bags bumped against my knee-the gift shop bag with the photo booth strips. The one of Connor and Kevin alone was on top.  
I looked at the strip, then at the couple themselves. They were reading the backs of the different seasons of _South Park,_ laughing. Their shoulders were touching, like their love was so strong that their bodies had to be in constant contact. Suddenly it hit me, literally feeling like a slap across the face. Their love had survived the atrocities of Uganda, a year of long-distance, coming out, being rejected by their families, being kicked out of their church, moving to a different state, switching schools. They were prejudiced against, but they still let everyone see how much they loved each other. They had seen each other at their best and their worst, and they would still die for each other, if need be. You can never know for sure, but the fact that their love had survived this much made me think they’ll last forever. It was purer than that of so many straight couples I’d seen and heard of, and yet some closed-minded people like my dad (and my mom, to a certain extent) still thought they didn’t deserve to get married because they happened to both be guys. All I could think was “This is so fucking wrong!”  
My eyes started stinging, and I knew I was going to cry. I needed to get out now, and before I knew what I was doing I dropped my bags, jammed the DVD back into its slot, and ran out of FYE. 

“Nico, you forgot-!” I heard one of the guys yell, but my mind didn’t care. It said “Keep running. Connor and Kevin will get them. Just get somewhere more private, because you cannot cry in the middle of FYE!” I kept running, heading for the restroom-past FYE, Treasures, and a few other stores, around Kay Jewelers, around and in the back right corner of the food court, past the photo booth. Behind me I could vaguely hear what sounded like one of the guys calling for me to stop, but I kept running. It was a good thing I knew the mall like the back of my hand, because my vision blurred just as I reached Kay.  
“Forget around-the shortest distance between two points is a straight line!” I thought, running through the food court, luckily without knocking any chairs or tables over. Despite my best efforts, I didn’t make it to the restroom. I only got as far as the claw machine before my left side smacked against it and I let myself slide down into a crouch. Burying my face in my hands, I felt my body shake as the tears started to flow. Suddenly I heard a voice -Connor, I knew now- calling me. “Nico! A girl just ran through crying; where did she-thanks.”  
He was behind me now. “Nico, you ran out of there like you saw a ghost. Kevin has your bags. I made sure he kept them safe. What’s wrong?”  
He put his hand on my shoulder; the slapped-in-the-face feeling intensified; and I completely lost it. From hitting the claw machine up until now I had been crying hard enough to shake but not made any noise. This time, though, my body doubled over with the force of an even stronger sob, this one coming out as a loud noise that probably sounded like a cow being strangled. Now I couldn’t stop this loud sobbing and muttering “It’s so wrong, it’s so wrong, it’s so wrong!”, so I felt rather than saw Connor pulling me up into a standing position, turning me around, putting my hands at my sides, and pushing me against him.  
“Come on, Nico, tell me what’s wrong,” he said softly.  
I took a deep breath and tried to speak, stuttering and punctuating every few words with more crying. “In-in FYE my-my bag hit my knee and-I s-saw you and Kevin’s ph-photo strip- and then I-looked up and s-saw you two and-thought about h-how much you love each o-other and-th-then I remembered-how many f-fucking bigots w-won’t let you guys-g-get m-married except f-for in a few select st-states just ‘cause you h-happen to both be guys and how my dad’s one of them, and it- it’s just so fucking wrong!” After choking all this out I dissolved into tears again, this time burying my face in Connor’s shoulder instead of my hands and wrapping my arms around his waist.  
I felt so weak to be crying over bigotry directed at brand-new friends I’d only just met and ruining the perfectly nice day we’d been having, but I couldn’t help it. It just struck me so strongly that it all had to come out. I knew Connor would be upset that I was so sad, but if he was annoyed by the interruption he didn’t show it. He rubbed my back and murmured in my ear until I wasn’t crying anymore.  
“Sorry about that,” I muttered, fiercely mopping at my eyes. “It’s just so wrong!”  
Connor nodded. “I know, I know. It’s hard for us too. What matters is that we have each other and supportive friends. Hey, maybe with your passionate nature you can help change things and make sure our kids and grandkids and college kids in all 50 states never have to be in this situation.”  
I gave him a weak smile. “Maybe. Now let’s get back to FYE before Kevin starts worrying about you.”


End file.
